Humor Archives

So … You Believe Man Causes Global Warming and …

Your neighbor across the aisle does not. Here is some unsolicited advice for the left wing on this topic. If you really think this is a problem, and you want everyone, not just your side of the aisle to push for it futilely … Here’s a newsflash for y’all. You’re selling it wrong.

Look at us over here on the right. We think the space program was cool. We love going to flight museums and wistfully wishing we (as a nation) were still flying SR-71s (RS-71 dammit, stupid Presidents). We gawk at daisy cutters and talk about yields and payloads. While we might take up on those government goodies that are “free” it sticks in our craw and we wish that ‘ol time Yankee rugged individualism wasn’t dying out, killed by bureaucratic mind-numbing cookie cutter schools among other things. Read these two books, here and here. That’s good reading. So, do you like Bob? We do.

In a past era, a Democratic President challenged his nation to go to the moon, not because it was easy but because it was hard. You want a nation to get behind you with a climate crises. Challenge them that way. Tell ‘em to go out and fix it, not by sucking back our economy and going all green-ified on us, scrimping out toilet paper curbing consumption of interesting toys and things to do.

No. Fix it the old fashioned way, with a hammer, tongs, and big bad-ass technology. Challenge us that way, and you might get a rise out of us.

Of course it might alienate you’re side of the aisle, but you can’t break an omelette without making eggs, or something like that.

(with tongue firmly in cheek … and attempting to ignore the silly season somewhat)

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    Links for Thursday, 8 March 2012

    October Baby
    “Every life is beautiful”

    From Brett Kunkle,

    Mark your calendars for March 23. That’s when a new movie, October Baby, will hit movie screens. I was able to preview the film last week and suggest you go see this one in the theater. I’ll be up front, it is a strong pro-life movie dealing head-on with abortion. But it was powerful and compelling, without being preachy. The message comes through loud and clear, but in a way that stirred my soul (yes, yes…I cried like 4 times — it was intense). And ultimately, the message is hopeful.

    Trailer here.

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    Tatts for Jesus! Except…
    these are done FOR Lent.

    From Joe Carter,

    Although Christians have been getting inked for centuries, the recent rise in popularity and mainstream acceptance of tattoos is leading many Christians to reflect on the meaning and prudence of the practice.

    “Nearly 40 percent of young adults aged 18-28 have tattoos now, which is more than four times the number in the Baby Boom generation,” noted Matthew Lee Anderson in his book Earthen Vessels: Why our Bodies Matter for our Faith. “While tattoos mark a desire for significance within a destabilized world, they are a live option for most young people precisely because we have not escaped the clutches of the consumerism and the individualism that are so often criticized.”

    From CNN,

    In a hip, artsy, area of Houston, a hip, artsy pastor is taking an unorthodox approach to Lent.

    He asked them to get tattoos. Specifically, he asked congregants to get a tattoo corresponding with one of the Stations of the Cross, the collection of images that depict scenes in Jesus’ journey to his crucifixion.

    Another member of Ecclesia, Joyce O’Connor, channeled her family when she was deciding what station of the cross to get tattooed onto her body. O’Connor, who has one biological child and two stepchildren, connected with the fourth station, Jesus meeting his mother.

    “I am a mother and in just a minuscule way can relate to how Mary must have felt,” O’Conner said.

    “The tattoo captured me and I love it,” she continued. “When I think of that image, I don’t feel tragedy or sadness because I know how the story ends and it makes me smile.”

    Permanent images on your body using Biblical imagery as a metaphor for what has happened in your life?

    It seems to me that this is nothing more than a carnal attempt at personalizing scripture or, in these cases, Biblical notions.

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    Could this be an Introvert’s weapon of choice for fighting smalltalk?
    From Engadget,

    Silence is golden, so there are plenty of times when it’d be awfully convenient to mute those around us, and a couple of Japanese researchers have created a gadget that can do just that. Called the SpeechJammer, it’s able to “disturb remote people’s speech without any physical discomfort” by recording and replaying what you say a fraction of a second after you say it. Why would that shut up the chatty Cathy next to you? Delayed auditory feedback (DAF) is based on an established psychological principle that it’s well-nigh impossible for folks to speak when their words are played back to them just after they’ve been uttered.

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    Postscript to the Open Letter to Praise Bands
    Excerpts,

    1. Worship is not only expressive, it is also formative. It is not only how we express our devotion to God, it is also how the Spirit shapes and forms us to bear God’s image to the world. This is why the form of worship needs to be intentional: worship isn’t just something that we do; it does something to us. And this is why worship in a congregational setting is a communal practice of a congregation by which the Spirit grabs hold of us. How we worship shapes us, and how we worship collectively is an important way of learning to be the body of Christ…

    2. Because worship is formative, and not merely expressive, that means other cultural practices actually function as “competing” liturgies, rivals to Christian worship. …The point is that such loaded cultural practices are actually shaping our loves and desires by the very form of the practice, not merely by the “content” they offer. If we aren’t aware of this, we can unwittingly adopt what seem to be “neutral” or benign practices without recognizing that they are liturgies that come loaded with a rival vision of “the good life.” If we adopt such practices uncritically, it won’t matter what “content” we convey by them, the practices themselves are ordered to another kingdom. And insofar as we are immersed in them, we are unwittingly mis-shaped by the practices.

    Read it all.

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    Yes, conservative women do get more of the “Rush-treatment”

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    Heh. Funny. Very funny.

    030612
    © Day by Day

    I would have never thought of this, but then, I have a difficult time understanding the entitlement mentality.

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      Friday…er, Tuesday Link Wrap-up

      I’ve been on something of a sabbatical with regards to blogging and news-reading in general. I have, however, saved some links during that time, so here’s a bunch of them.

      If even the Dutch have fallen out of love with windmills (by which I mean, they can’t afford to keep subsidizing them), you gotta’ wonder.

      Right after Alabama’s illegal immigration law kicked in, unemployment dropped in a big way. Yeah, those jobs you keep saying Americans won’t do? Turns out they just might.

      Spain has apparently had enough with the failed policies of socialists. They voted them in to appease terrorists back in 2004 following the Madrid bombings. But since then, Spain has been tanking economically along with the rest of Europe, and what seemed like a good idea at the time has now been revealed to be a huge mistake. This past weekend, conservatives won a landslide victory.

      Iranian Christian pastor update: "Yousef (also spelled Youcef) Nadarkhani, sentenced to death a year ago after a court of appeals in Rasht, Iran, found him guilty of leaving Islam in September 2010, is in deteriorating health, according to a member of Nadarkhani’s denomination, the Church of Iran, who requested anonymity. "

      "Who would Jesus protest?" According to Jimmie Bise, working from the New Testament, He wouldn’t be protesting government. He’d be changing hearts, one individual at a time.

      Iran with nuclear weapons capability. This shouldn’t surprise anyone, but I’m certain many on the Left will be shocked, unfortunately.

      And finally, the oldest social network is new again. (Click for a larger version.)

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        Just Kidding

        The same people who will make excuses for Roseanne Barr’s call for the beheading of the rich — who say she’s a comedian and was just joking — also seem to be the same people to reject the idea that Rush Limbaugh is a satirist and take 100% of what he says seriously. Just sayin’.

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          Dr. Seuss Goes to Washington

          Submitted for your amusement, from a friend’s Facebook status.

          I do not like this, Uncle Sam, I do not like this health care scam.
          I do not like these dirty crooks, or how they lie and cook the books.
          I do not like when Congress steals, I do not like their secret deals.
          I do not like ex-speaker Nan, I do not like this ‘YES WE CAN’.
          I do not like this spending spree, I’m smart, I know that nothing’s free.
          I do not like their smug replies when I complain about their lies.
          I do not like this kind of hope. I do not like it. Nope, Nope, Nope!

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            Friday Link Wrap-up

            Relative bias in the media vs actual bias. A new book from a UCLA political science professor demonstrate how, because the media is so generally slanted to the left, outlets like Fox appear more right-slanted, when in reality they’re far more centrist.

            Rosalina Gonzales had pleaded guilty to a felony charge of injury to a child for what prosecutors had described as a "pretty simple, straightforward spanking case."

            Trevor Phillips, chairman of Obama’s Equality and Human Rights Commission accused Christians, particularly evangelicals, of being more militant than Muslims in complaining about discrimination, arguing that many of the claims are motivated by a desire for greater political influence. Hmm, define "militant".

            What if Charles Schultz had done cartoons of Doctor Who characters? The result would probably have looked like this.

            "Smart" diplomacy; cozy up to dictators, snub our friends.

            Democrats pilloried George W. Bush for "not listening to his generals" when he made decisions counter to the Pentagon. When Obama does it, not so much.

            Would ID requirements for voting amount to a Jim-Crow-style poll tax on blacks? E. J. Dionne thinks so. James Taranto wonders if ID requirements for Amtrak, hotels, air travel and employment are equally as "racist"?

            Nancy Pelosi said that they had to pass the bill before we could find out what’s in it. Apparently, some surprises are buried in there.

            President Barack Obama’s health care law would let several million middle-class people get nearly free insurance meant for the poor, a twist government number crunchers say they discovered only after the complex bill was signed.

            The change would affect early retirees: A married couple could have an annual income of about $64,000 and still get Medicaid, said officials who make long-range cost estimates for the Health and Human Services department.

            Whenever there is a budget shortfall, taxes are always on the table. How about we take them off just this once?

            Medicare spending is unsustainable, and the CBO itself admits that its tools for determine any consequences from Obamacare are flawed. Yeah, that should "fix" health care.

            And finally, define "emergency" (click for a larger version):

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              The End of "Birtherism". Or Not.

              Proving that he indeed was born in Hawaii, President Barack Obama finally released his long-form birth certificate today, taking one huge bit of ammunition away from the so-called “birthers”, sabotaging Donald Trump’s main campaign issue, killing sales of a forthcoming book on the subject even before its release, and probably doing absolutely nothing to keep someone somewhere from continuing to drum up controversy over this. I imagine now we’ll need a photograph of President Obama’s parents standing in front of Kapiolani hospital with a copy of the August 4, 1961 edition of the Honolulu Star Advertiser in one hand and a complete genome in the other. Personally, I’m still waiting for authentication from Dan Rather.

              However, we also now know what he’s been spending all that money on lawyers trying to hide. Under “Favorite Band”, he listed “Backstreet Boys”. So now that this thorny issue is behind him, he can concentrate on not doing anything about Syria.

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                Rusty Nails (SCO v. 32)

                Air Traffic Controller sleeps on duty at Reagan National Airport
                Isn’t it ironic, considering that President Reagan fired striking air traffic controllers, that an air traffic controller falls asleep on the job at Reagan National Airport?

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                Similar to the boy in the bubble among us? Or simply a nuisance to everyone else?
                Where do we draw the lines to our accommodation of those with disabilities? At what point do we say, enough, you (the disabled person) need to limit your actions because of your predicament? Regardless, it’s another reason to homeschool.

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                eBooks, weeding, and the demise of the public library?
                No, the title is not an Elmer Fudd pun on the act of reading. An interesting op-ed argument regarding how the advent of ebook technology, along with the limits of ownership rights, may impact how libraries currently function.

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                Imagine a truck, full of printer ink, spilling its load
                Imagine no more (click the image for stunning detail)…

                Image © Boston.com

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                Video: Pelosi violates the “separation of church and state”
                But it’s okay, because it suits her needs.

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                Geek News of the Week:  Hi-res photo of Mars Rover Opportunity from orbit
                7 years into a 3 month mission, Opportunity was photographed by the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter. Click the image for a hi-res version.

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                Well, it IS “Frie”-day
                For all those IN-N-OUT aficionados out there (and for those who long for the experience).

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                  Rusty Nails (SCO v. 29)

                  Palin says Kathy Griffin is a 50 year-old bully
                  Oh, come on Sarah. Let’s not be denigrating all the bullies out there by associating them with Griffin.

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                  And iPods for all…
                  Jesse Jackson Jr. does his best Liberal argument for how the government best needs to provide for its citizens, including the right to have a decent home.

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                  Thief / burglar / home invader calls 911 to report that the homeowner may be armed
                  Well, I suppose it follows that if you have a right to a home, then the home doesn’t have to necessarily be owned by you.

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                  PJs Day at school?
                  Good idea, or just kinda weird?

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                  Taliesin is tumbling (and Falling Water is falling apart)
                  If an architect designs a house and the house, despite being revered as a work of art, falls apart, is it not logical to conclude that the architect, while (perhaps) an artist, was a lousy architect? What is one to make of Frank Lloyd Wright’s Taliesin? At least it isn’t yet part of the dreaded A.R.T. Syndrome.

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                  Anti-gun legislator shoots home invader
                  Nope. No contradiction here.

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                    Rusty Nails (SCO v. 28)

                    Ordnance found on a York city street!
                    It seems that the police were summoned after a man discovered live ordnance in a puddle of water. From The York Press,

                    A STARTLED man has told how he found a bullet lying in a York city-centre street.

                    Tim Stark said he was unloading items into the MOR Music store where he works in Fossgate yesterday morning when he spotted what he believed to be a live .22 bullet gleaming in a puddle.

                    That’s right – the ordnance was a lone .22LR cartridge, such as is used to “plink” empty cans, shoot gophers, etc.

                    This, my friends, is what happens when you vilify (and confiscate) firearms.

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                    I’ll bet they made no bones about shooting the whole 9 yards
                    An Engadget post about the iPad 2 generated some interesting comments, especially regarding just how broad the knowledge base is of some of its readers. While we live in a Google-rich world, with every bit of information seemingly at the tips of our fingers, it seems that some individuals have issues with commonly used idioms.

                    First, the original post,

                    Ignore the fact that the iPad 2 is likely just a few weeks away — we’re talking about the here and now. You’ve read our $0.02 on a few of these, but why not throw a few opinions of your own in comments below?

                    Then, some of the comments that resulted,

                    just to let you know the phrase is “two sense” not “two cents”

                    the phrase, dear Mike, is “to sense” meaning get yourself some sense before making nonsense corrections.

                    No, its definitely $.02 as in 2 cents

                    What kind of bonehead are you? Obviously, the correct phrase is “too scents!”

                    That doesn’t make any sense! The phrase is “my two cents” it’s originally from an English saying “my two pennies worth”. Get your facts straight before you start correcting people.

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                    Choosing pets over children – sad article of the week
                    While the myth of adolescence may certainly be a reality, it seems we have created a generation of self-indulgent perpetual adolescents, intent on driving themselves into the realms of PD James’ Children of Men.

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                    Rob Bell, oops
                    Perhaps it was a brilliant publicity stunt, which succeeded in getting a whole lot of free exposure. But I’m wondering if they’ve not shot themselves in the foot for any future work?

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                    I apologize, really
                    I truly believed that the people of California would not re-elect Elmo-loving Boxer (m’am).

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                      Watching Dominos Fall in the Middle East

                      I host an pretty-much-monthly podcast called Shire Network News, and if you’ve wondered what I sound like, you can find out here. It’s a right-of-center podcast that tries to use humor and satire to make its point. Much of the commentary in this episode is about the latest turmoil in the Middle East (well, more turmoil than is typical, at least). Show notes are at the link as well as ways to listen to the individual show or subscribe to the podcast itself.

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                        Shire Network News #183

                        If you’ve ever wondered what I sound like, I host a political satire podcast that you may be interested in. Click here for the current show’s page, which also has links to subscribe to the podcast via iTunes or another podcatcher of your choice.

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                          Rusty Nails (SCO v. 20)

                          Look at them yo-yos, that’s the way you do it
                          It would seem that Canada is, indeed, in dire straits.

                          I recall watching a movie, during the late ’70s, broadcast from a television station in San Francisco, California. Being from southern California, it was notable to me to see the difference in what the station owners allowed to be broadcast vs. what I was accustomed to at home (e.g., partial nudity, vulgar language, etc.). What was striking, however, was one instance where the use of “jeezus” as a curse word was left audible, while a derogatory term for a homosexual was bleeped out.

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                          If we should ban 30 round magazines, because someone used one while killing six people
                          Then we should ban scissors, because someone used one to kill seven newborns.

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                          The Glock ~ AIDS connection?
                          And, yes, the Glock cannot teach children (but, then, the public school system doesn’t seem to do that very well either).

                          ###

                          Hey. What could go wrong with this sales promotion on January 17th?

                          ###

                          Geek News: NASA Telescopes Help Identify Most Distant Galaxy Cluster

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                            Just for fun…

                            For all of us who’ve endured helping our less tech-savvy acquaintances…

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                              A Silent Hallelujah

                              A very clever rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus performed by The Silent Monks.

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