Book Review: The Kind of Man Every Man Should Be
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008 at
12:22 pm
Where have all the real men gone? Where are the men who will take a stand for something? Or will be responsible for their own actions? Protect their family? Be the hero?
If you’re like me, you know that such men are hard to find. That’s in large part because most men today are a shadow of the men that God designed them to be. Men have been emasculated for years by radical feminism. Our country is paying the price for real men not being around to step up and lead. Families are suffering because real men aren’t there to lead them. Churches are becoming weaker because real men haven’t stepped up to take charge.
Thankfully, there is hope for men. Author and talk show host Kevin McCullough not only has identified the problem but provides practical solutions in his new book The Kind of Man Every Man Should Be: Taking a Stand for True Masculinity.
The rise of what we now commonly think of as feminism in the 1960s was actually a drastic departure from the classic definition of feminism as it had been commonly understood. As Mr. McCullough argues, the goal of classic feminism was equality between sexes. The goal of radical feminism is sameness.
Taken to its logical conclusion, radical feminism has caused a blurring of the gender roles between men and women. As a result, men are left unsure of who they should be and what their proper role in society actually is. The radical feminists have stripped away men’s identity in their effort to achieve sameness between the sexes.
But God did not design men and women to be the same. He did design them to be equal in worth in His kingdom. At the same time, he provided distinctive roles for each sex. Our culture has worked hard to try to remove those distinctions. The result is mass confusion especially among men.
Mr. McCullough, however, doesn’t simply make cultural observations in laying out the problems that men face. To his credit, he shares openly how he has been directly affected by his own struggle to understand what it means to be a man of God. His honesty about his own failings is both startling and refreshingly honest. By being willing to open up and offer a glimpse into his own past he brings a sense of authenticity to the problem.
Having thoroughly documented the problem, he then progresses to offering practical solutions. He very neatly encapsulates each idea in a simple slogan that is easy to remember (e.g. “Believe With Certainty”, “Act With Clarity”, “Fight With Tenacity”, to name a few). These action steps help the reader understand how they can practically apply the principles outlined in the book. As with the first half of the book, he again relies in large part on personal experiences to illustrate his points.
When I first received this book, I was anxious to dive right in. I found myself wanting to immediately apply everything I was learning from the book. Little did I know it at the time but the opportunity would arise to put things I was learning into practice immediately. In that respect, this was a timely book for me as I didn’t realize until I was done how much I needed to read it.
While this book is primarily written for men, it’s also a great book for women. By reading this book, women can get a better idea of what God desires for men to be. It allows women to encourage the men that are in their lives. For a single woman, it gives a great portrait of what they should be looking for in a man.
I highly recommend this book especially to men everywhere. If you are a father and you’re raising a son, this is a book you will want to read with him. It’s the kind of book that you will want to read with a highlighter in hand ready to mark up the pages. It’s also the kind of book that can be read over and over again and still having something fresh for you to learn.
The Kind of Man Every Man Should Be: Taking a Stand For True Masculinity is one of the most important books I’ve read in a long time. Mr. McCullough should be congratulated for having the courage to write this book. It’s a message that men (and women) everywhere need to hear. I’m thankful for this book and can’t wait to dive into it again. It has changed my life and I’m sure it could change yours, too.
Tagged with: Books • Kevin McCullough • Masculinity
Filed under: Book Reviews • Books • Culture • Tom
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If you’re like me, you know that such men are hard to find.
Perhaps you’re looking in the wrong places? Try hanging out with more progressive types. My church if chock full of brave, bold, daring, responsible men and women, boys and girls.
Where have all the real men gone? Where are the men who will take a stand for something? Or will be responsible for their own actions? Protect their family? Be the hero?
Ya know, everytime I hear one of these fellas bemoaning the loss of “real men,” my BS radar starts flashing. What exactly does he mean?
What examples does he cite as evidence that “real men” are disappearing?
My guess is maybe he’s talking about “horrors” like “forcing” little boys to play with dolls and taking their guns away resulting in… what? I don’t know – weak sissy men?
You tell me.
Wait a minute. Haven’t progressives been pushing men through sensitivity training for two decades? And they succeeded, while real men flunked “Girlie School”. But perhaps that explains why progressives don’t understand what a real man is, even when someone explains it as clearly as this writer did.
As a former feminist, seeking and struggling to be transformed into the godly model of biblical womanhood, I have found it challenging to fulfill that role when the men we are supposed to “submit” to aren’t excercising biblical manhood, much less biblical accountability. It is very hard to resist the temptation to move in and fill the leadership vacuum, even with the help of the Holy Spirit, yet maintain any semblance of healthy respect for them.
Nevertheless, that is precisely what Christian women are called to do, by God’s grace, keeping our focus on Christ and not on the fallenness of our girlie men. These two things are not mutually exclusive. 🙂
As I have already said, Lizzie, perhaps y’all are hanging out with the wrong class of men. Progressive men ARE real men. There for their families, there for their communities, leading humbly and boldly – just as our women do.
I don’t know any men who “are left unsure of who they should be and what their proper role in society actually is.”
So, again, I’m wondering what specifically this guy thinks is the problem with men? Is it just among more conservative men that there are no real men or what specifically is he saying?
“Biblical manhood” is a nonsense term, seems to me, written by fellas who are trying to make a buck writing books and leading seminars about a non-existent problem.
( “Biblical manhood” is a nonsense term, )
… Therein lies the root of the blindness…rejection of the word of God. “Manhood” without the “biblical” part is how Adam allowed Eve and the serpent to get us into this mess in the first place. He knew better, he just refused to lead on God’s terms.
For over two centuries, progressives have mythologized away the truth of the Fall in favor of “cunningly devised fables” (KJV) and infected the world with a false worldview. Consequently, the fallenness and unbelief that plunged humanity into sin and darkness entered the church masquerading as “progressive” — but its just a regressive throwback to the sin of Adam in the garden. “Hath God really said?”… is expressed today as “biblical manhood makes no sense”.
How then can such men claim to be “real men”, apart from the word of God? And by what spirit do purportedly “christian” churchmen reject the biblical truths that should transform them into real men? The Holy Spirit does not reject His own words.
So, “Every man does what is right in his own eyes”. Churches full of such “Adams” are just as impotent at excercising their redeemed role for Christ as he was! And in doing so, they enable Christian women to stumble and fall the same way as Eve, and take their families with them. That’s why we’re in the mess we’re in.
Today, “Christian” is a nonsense term.
For my part, I have certainly NOT rejected the Bible. I live my life based upon it, by God’s grace, as best I can.
What I meant was that there is no such topic as “Biblical manhood” within the pages of the Bible.
What I’m asking is WHAT exactly do folk like this author mean when they say “real men” have gone missing?
I AM a real man. My father is a real man. My pastor’s husband is a real man. Our youth minister is a real man. All the men at our church are real men.
What does he mean when he says that? Because, as far as I can tell, he means absolutely nothing beyond, “Buy my book and learn about a non-existent problem.”
But I have not read his book, so feel free to educate me on what he perceives to be the problem.
Okay, I’ve done a little research on my own about the author: Kevin McCullough – who writes for WND and that is a red flag right there – has had the following things written about his “manhood” thesis:
“He advocates for such shocking things as absolute truth, as well as proper stewardship and integrity in the actions of our public leaders.”
“Over the last few decades, a key detriment to true manhood has been a radical feminism that has redefined society’s views of men and women. Many men have become a faint image of their former selves and are no longer standing strong when it comes to responsibility, social interaction, and parental authority. The result? Marriages and families that are crumbling.”
“In the Bible, God provides a blueprint for men to follow—one that encourages them to behave with dignity, act with clarity, and lead with conviction.”
These are all examples of whining about nothing.
Encourage men to behave with dignity, clarity and conviction? He believes men should be truthful, good stewards and have integrity?
WHO opposes this? For men or women? We ALL ought to behave thusly and no one serious disagrees with this.
Men have become “faint image” of their former selves?? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? It should be a clue that these are general scare words and phrases without attaching specifics to what he’s talking about. “What??? There are people out there who are opposed to TRUE MANHOOD?! Who are making men FAINT IMAGES of what men ought to be?? YIKES!!”
I’ve done some searches trying to find some – ANY – specifics of what in the heck this guy is talking about and I’ve found nothing. He appears to be a fearmonger hoping to get rich preying upon some people’s fears of “radical feminists” and “girly men” by spouting meaningless nothingness.
But again, maybe inside his book there are some more concrete examples of what he’s talking about. You tell me, those of you who’ve read it.
Disclaimer: I’ve not read the book and don’t know anything about Kevin McCullough.
That aside, just a small point regarding how you’re coming at this. The question, “WHO opposes this?” is a straw argument. I’m betting McCullough isn’t suggesting that at all. Rather (and this is true of any book about Christian living) some people, agreeing with the premise, want/need to know how. With the evidence McCullough cites — the marriage issue for one — my guess is that he believes more men need to know the “how”, having already bought into the need for it.
It’s like asking, “This book tells me how to pray? It provides examples and encouragement in praying fervently and without ceasing? Who is against prayer?” Well, no one, but that’s not the point the author would be making.
“A how-to book on changing my car’s oil? Who could possibly be against that???”
OK, you get the idea. I’m guessing (strictly guessing) that McCullough sees many of the family breakdowns as a failure of the men to lead with conviction or (more likely) behave with dignity. Again, it’s a guess, but I think you’ll sooner figure out what he’s talking about if you ask the right question.
Well, I reckon we’ll have to wait until someone who’s actually read it can pipe in. I am just cynical because I have heard from (and read, even) some of these “Woe is the state of MEN. They need so to be more MANLY!!” kinds of books and essays that complain about nothing really and more often than not point to “the liberals” or “the feminists” who are making men be less manly and destroying our marriages, blah blah blah and what I’ve read and seen thus far has been garbage. Maybe this one’s different.
My more conservative brother gave me one of the “fire in the belly/iron john” type of books a while back when this latest trend began and it was full of nothing, this sounds like more of the same.
Dan,
I encourage you to listen to the first few minutes of the interview with Mr. McCullough that is at the end of the post. He does a great job of explaining the thesis of the book. Essentially he argues that the rise of radical feminism has altered our culture’s understanding of what true manhood is all about in favor of trying to create sameness between the sexes.
This is not the type of book that I would normally go to the bookstore and buy for myself. Like you, I’ve see far too many books that pretend to be offering solutions to problems such as this and end up being shallow and superficial. I found this book to be immensely practical and even if your not a Christian you will find things that you can take away from the book.
Finally, you are incorrect to say that Mr. McCullough writes for World Net Daily. He’s a syndicated columnist and that happens to be one of the sites that carries his column ( Townhall is another one).
I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I got this book. I was pleasantly surprised at how immediately applicable it was to me (and I thought I had the whole biblical manhood thing figured out). I hope you’ll give it a chance.
Can’t you just give some examples of what he thinks are wrong with men? Am I or the men of my church not “real men” according to him? If so, why not? What specifically does he say is wrong with men?
Yes, we can all agree that men who don’t take care of their families or cheat on their wives is a bad thing, but that has always been with us and is not a new problem.
In fact, the liberated condition of women the last 100 years has gone a long way towards improving their lot in the case of philandering husbands. I don’t know that you can blame feminism or liberalism for a long-existing problem.
Does he provide examples in the interview? Why can’t you just relate them?
Tried following the link to listen but it wouldn’t let me for some reason…
I think the essence of the problem lies in defining what gets poured into “progressivism”, especially in a Christian context. After all, isn’t that what you “progressive” folks are “boldly and humbly” leading us into, both men and women? I’ll bet a dozen doughnuts Dan is an Obama supporter, good “progressive” that Obama is.
As for as I’m concerned, progressive is just a euphemism for the anti-christian, anti-biblical worldview known as socialism, communism, cultural marxism and it destroys everything it touches. Just because some people “christianize” it by pouring whole new meanings into well-defined biblical words and doctrines, doesn’t make it any less apostate, unbelieving and dangerous, e.g. the new “progressive” red letter gang.
In contrast, biblical manhood exhibits and leads people into biblical truth in whatever sphere that man is functioning (family, marriage, business, etc.) not vice versa – to water it down. It takes a real man to swim against the tide of today’s wordly apostasy that has overtaken the church, as well as overthrowing a culture that was once heavily influenced by biblical christianity. If one has already been overtaken by it, of course, that’s why you can’t see it.
As for as I’m concerned, progressive is just a euphemism for the anti-christian, anti-biblical worldview known as socialism, communism, cultural marxism and it destroys everything it touches.
Silly, as others hear have probably heard me say, my story does not support your thesis. I was a conservative, traditional young Christian for the first half of my life. I was taught (rightly) by good traditional Christians to take the Bible VERY seriously and to strive by God’s grace to follow in the steps of Jesus.
The thing is, the more I have done so (by God’s grace) the more I have been called “liberal,” “progressive,” and even “communist.” As I have said before, I find such labels somewhat helpful but also quite flawed. I probably land on most issues (because of how I understand God’s Word) on what has been called the “progressive” or “liberal” side of things. Now, I (like all people) have many reasons for reaching my conclusions.
And so, while I may support education for prisoners, for instance, it may be partially out of compassion for the least of these, or it might be for fiscally responsible reasons (it’s cheaper to educate than to imprison) – in short, it might be for traditionally liberal or for traditionally conservative reasons. All of that makes up who I am and what I think (and for others, too) and in that sense, those labels are fairly useless.
And I say ALL of that to say that I am certainly not anti-Christian nor anti-biblical in my beliefs and positions. I am striving mightily (along with all my church and other brothers and sisters in Christ on “my side” of the aisle) to be true to God’s Word. And so, while I may come down on what you would likely consider the “liberal” side of things, it is factually wrong to say that I am doing so for anti-Christian or anti-biblical reasons.
You may disagree with my conclusions (please do), but you can’t take my Christianity or love of the Bible from me.
biblical manhood exhibits and leads people into biblical truth in whatever sphere that man is functioning (family, marriage, business, etc.) not vice versa – to water it down. It takes a real man to swim against the tide of today’s wordly apostasy that has overtaken the church
I agree. And that is what I and the Real men and women in our church are doing daily, by God’s grace. We rebuke the earthly traditions that many have embraced in church, the embrace of a materialistic, militaristic worldview that is in direct opposition to God’s Word.
So, if that’s what the author is talking about, then I was right in my first assertion: He just needs to start hanging out with more progressive men and women if he isn’t seeing “real” men and women in his circles.