The Beginning of Empathy

David Henson at the blog Unorthodoxology posted a terse thought last Friday, “Sin is the beginning of empathy.”  I’ve been reading a bit of Dave’s blog ever since, I believe, Mark linked to something of his.  Dave, and the commenters that frequent there, are of the “many paths lead to truth” school of thought, and are not very much in agreement with my ideas about the exclusivity of Jesus as “the Way, the Truth, the Life”.  (See the comments to this post for examples.)

So this “empathy” post showed up, and I could see what Dave was getting at, and I made short comment about it myself, that perhaps this could also be said of pain.  Pain, whether caused by sin or not, can make us empathetic to others in the same situation as well.  But that thought, too, didn’t seem complete.  After 24 hours of having that roll around in my head, here’s what I came up with.

If sin causes no pain, then it does not bring empathy. If cheating old ladies out of their social security makes me “happy” (or at least doesn’t hurt in the short term), no empathy comes with it. It’s not until the pain that there’s a chance that empathy will develop. And even then, sometimes the consequences don’t quite get things rolling, but without the pain, it won’t happen.

So perhaps “sin is the beginning of pain which is the beginning of empathy.”

Well, ‘cept that you can have pain that leads to empathy but that did not originate with sin. I could say “Getting laid off from your job is the beginning of empathy” and it would be just as true, yet you don’t have to do anything wrong to feel it. But then what if you hated the job and are happy that you got laid off, because you have a back-up plan (or some similar situation)? No pain, and thus you probably can’t empathize with a co-worker who desperately needed that job and has nowhere else to go. So getting laid off, for you, isn’t the beginning of pain.

There are so many things that may or may not lead to pain for you, but until you feel that pain you can’t empathize with someone who has. So perhaps the phrase should be, “Pain is the beginning of empathy.”

Or is even that right? Can we really not empathize with a drug addict until we get high ourselves? Can we really not empathize with a murderer unless we kill someone ourselves? Sympathize, perhaps, but maybe not empathize. Still, is that such a bad thing; not being able to empathize? Granted, a drug addict might be more inclined to accept help from former addict, but many times this happens without dealing with someone who is a peer at that level. Someone who never took one drink can be merciful and helpful and caring to the alcoholic. Sympathy is just as potent.

Additionally, one can have the pain, but refuse to be empathetic to anyone in a similar situation. It isn’t always a given.

So what is beyond pain that would lead to empathy? If you don’t care about your fellow man, you’ll never empathize with him, no matter how much sin you commit or pain you experience or whatever bad circumstances come your way. You can only truly have empathy when you love your neighbor as yourself.

So sin might lead to pain, or it might not. And pain might lead to empathy, or it might not. But neither is necessary for love, and love is the beginning of empathy.

Filed under: Doug • Religion

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